Willingness
by Official .the. Blah
Summary: The Empress is dead, but she still lives in the nightmares of her favorite little Robin. "I reside in you - I am you" Rob scares himself by hurting Linden, but what is sacrier is that he doesn't feel any need to stop. When he wakes he seeks comfort from Linden, his mind heavy with question and self-doubt "be still...be calm...I am here...I will watch you...sleep..." (Fluff/angst)


**Willingness**

_A/N (__**MUST READ)**__:_ This is the result of biting into an angst cookie at 01:00 am – this is a bit of fiction of my favorite book couple (well they aren't really a couple…**yet**): Rob and Linden from R J Anderson's _Knife _series. If you haven't yet read any of these books,** I seriously recommend!** I mean, who doesn't want to read about warrior faeries? They do have romance in them, but just the right amount and there is no shortage of action and plot.

This takes place maybe a few months after the events in _Nomad_, BUT if you haven't read these books: Prepare to be really confused. This is my own piece of work on the novels, but I am writing this as an advertisement for Rebecca's books as I believe that not many people have read them and appreciate her work.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing except for my words and this dream-sequence. The genius behind these characters is Rebecca J Anderson.

_I am dead…I am floating…it's too bright._

A figure woke to find himself in the shade underneath the largest tree he had ever seen, its long and tangled bare branches stretching far around him: The Oak. Under him was lush green grass that spread out around the base of the trunk, but as the figure turned his gaze around his sitting form, he saw the same thing in every direction: the grass only grew where the shadow of the great tree appeared, and where the shadows of the branches ended, the grass vanished and was replaced with a hazy white.

Looking above, the man saw the very absence of colour in the blackest black imaginable. Where the light of the white met the dark of the black there was a blurry line that every few seconds discharged bolts of vivid blue lightning. Right in the middle of the abyss above there was a shining cloud; it shone silver like the moon, and around it was a bronze fluff. It was quiet all around, and as the pointy-eared individual stood, he came to a confusing conclusion: _This is a dream_…or a dream within a dream.

He was tense, as every soldier in his position should be, and his fox-like eyes narrowed as he slowly surveyed his ominous surroundings. Just as he was about to walk out from under the tree's shade, a wind picked up and swarmed around him, as soft as breathe. Strangely enough his stance relaxed, his eyes closed, and he felt as light as a feather; in a word, he felt _comfortable_. The wind around whispered something, so soft he almost didn't hear it, but instead of opening his eyes and assuming a fight-ready position, he chose to listen: _…don't…move…_

The voice was soft, barely above a serious pitch, but he felt compelled to obey. All of a sudden, he felt very tired, his legs going weak and his eyes rolling back into his skull underneath his eyelids. The wind picked up again, and he somehow knew that it was not any air current, but rather an actual breathe, and as he listened to the thought-caressing voice, he decided that he knew it.

…_be still…be calm…I will watch you…I am here…sleep…_

And how he wanted to; something gently pushed him down, and instead of falling, he floated his way towards the inviting grass. The breathe blew over his face, mimicking soft hands as it pushed back his hair and played with his skin. All of a sudden, the air around him stopped moving, and his eyes flew open, pupils constricting, as a tone with an incredibly high pitch filled the air, its noise so piercing that he had to cover his ears tight and clench his eyes shut. He was so pained that all he could do was squirm with tense muscles upon the blackening grass.

Then came a rumbling underneath him, vibrations so fierce they sent shivers up his spine, and loud cracks boomed over the screech in his ears. A few moments of this before everything went silent. _What is happening?_ The same question kept on going through his mind over and over again, and eventually he risked opening his eyes and uncovering his ears, and what he saw spooked him: the blackness had seeped down and had distorted the white with spirals and veins moving into the silvery haze and the bright cloud above had turned grey and had lost its bronze aura, but what chilled him the most was that the giant tree had been rooted and was now elevated high up in the air and split down the middle.

A gust of wind, not the breathe of before, nearly threw him off his feet and had him covering his ears again, spun around him, growing in pitch before: "Hello, my Robin." Slowly he removed his hands from his ears and was greeted by a much wanted silence, but he tensed at the voice. Muscles stiff and his face a rigid mask, he turned on his heel and glared at the figure in front of him: Jasmine the fairy from the Oak, or rather as he knew her, _The Empress_.

"You," he venomously drawled, "What do you want from me? Was it not enough for you to haunt me in reality that you now seek to haunt me in my dreams?"

She smiled sweetly and tut-tutted, "My dear Robin, it seems that even my death has not brought your mind to rest…"

He narrowed his eyes further, "What do you mean?"

She gave a high and stiff laugh, "I thought you would've been smarter than that: _you brought me here_." At his look of silent and angry confusion she went you, "I reside in you - I _am_ you."

He turned his head with a skeptical look and silently judged her words.

Taking his silence as an invitation to explain, The Empress started pacing around him, "It seems this Dream Air has numbed your senses and left you intellectually challenged, so allow me to explain. You see, I cherished you as I would have a son, something I was…_denied_ in life-"

"_Cherished_? You abused me!"

"-and do you know why?" she continued as if she had not been interrupted, silently walking a circle around him. "Because I saw something in you, something…familiar: it was an odd sort of passion, a lusting for something more, something different." She paused for a brief moment, "Do you remember when I offered you that musician's blood?"

"How could I forget when you forced it down my throat?" his response was clipped and sharp.

Again she laughed, "Oh no, my little Robin, you willingly took that cup, and with an eagerness in your eyes that reminded me of me, and it came to me already then that the one reason why you should have been my successor was that you _were_ me. You had a lusting for blood, an undeniable thirst for power and command, and above all, you were _willing_ – you were willing to take that cup without question, you were _willing_ to spy on the Oak, and-"

"Stop it…_stop it!_" head in his hands, Rob pulled his neck down and tried to block out Jasmine's voice.

She leaned in close to his ear and hissed, "-you were willing to betray."

"Enough! You no longer hold sway over me, so cease this charming trickery as it is not working." He finished off with a daring look of disgust.

She glared back at him, "If you will not listen to me, then perhaps you'll listen to yourself." And with that she snapped her fingers and another figure appeared on the grass next to her. She was wearing a loose-fitting tunic and short brown breeches with a waterfall of brown curls surrounding a round face and big doe eyes, and upon seeing her, he immediately recognized her. Rob's eyes widened and his mouth opened as if to call out, but without needing a call, the figure turned her confused gaze to his, a little bit of relief passing over her look of uncertainty when she saw him.

"Rob? Where are-" she had barely started her sentence before she reeled back, stumbled, and fell onto the dead grass when she turned her gaze upon The Empress, "…how…but…you're dead…"

Jasmine gave her a twisted smirk before she flicked her wrist and Linden flew up into the air, suspended like the tree behind her. Her eyes were as wide as saucers as she stared at The Empress and her bare feet struggled to touch the ground. Her efforts were all in vain as the ground got further and further away as Jasmine lifted her higher into the air, her muscles suddenly going stiff with magic. Panicking, Linden tried to move her wings, and gasped at the fiery feeling where her wings met her back.

"You won't need those," stated The Empress as she dropped Linden's wings from her hands onto the ground where they promptly burnt up. Turning to Rob, she plastered another sweet smile on her face, "Now, since I am dead, as I have twice been reminded, I can no longer control you with your true name, and even if I was still alive, well…let's just say that the Stone of Naming worked, so I cannot force you to harm her." A look of dreadful uncertainty passed over Rob's features, "So I am leaving this to you: show yourself, and your little friend here, just exactly who _we_ are."

And with that, she became wispy and passed through Rob, vanishing. Rob felt his limbs moving of their own accord: his arms raised themselves to where Linden was floating and he felt magic start to tingle up his fingers. Lifting his shocked eyes to Linden's, he tried to reassure her that he wasn't doing anything, but nothing came out; it was like he didn't want to tell her because it wasn't true.

"Rob…?" Linden rasped out before Rob's face contorted and an angry expression replaced any other emotion; his fists curled and magic flew out from his arms, encircling Linden before pulling her down hard to hit the ground. A pained gasp escaped her and her eyes shut in pain. Still using the glowing magic emitted from his hands, Rob pulled her up by her hair and swung her into the tree, a loud thud echoing in the void along with a scream.

It was as much torture for him as it was for her, not just because he was the one bruising her and making her bleed, but because he didn't feel any need to stop. His face had become a permanent mask of rage and an insane laugh was bubbling up inside of him. It went on like this for quite some time before Linden's body collapsed on the ground by Rob's feet, wheezing, bleeding and begging for him to stop; there wasn't any white left, only darkness, and the great tree had been swallowed up by the now black cloud.

Rob's mouth opened as if to apologise but all that came out was an insane cackle; he knew that he was still in control, but his entire self had been enveloped and corrupted by an over whelming desire to maim, to injure. A tear trickled down his laughing face as he remembered The Empress's words: _You were willing_.

Rob woke in a tangle of sweaty blankets on a cold wooden floor, breathing heavily. Next to him was his bed and in front of him on his nightstand was a lamp; his belongings were scattered across the room and slowly he remembered where he was: he was inside the Oak, specifically the room he had been shown to by Linden when he first came…

_Linden!_ Heart still pumping and breathe still heavy, Rob jumped up and headed for his door, blankets peeling off of him. Flinging the wood open, Rob dashed to where the spiral Stair had been and dived down, his shape blurring to become a robin, and flew up two storeys. Just before he landed, he transformed himself back and rushed towards one particular door on that landing. Not caring if he woke the others up, Rob knocked loud. "Linden? Wake up, please! Linden!" From the other side of the door he could hear groaning and sighing, but nobody came to the door.

No longer caring for decency, Rob pushed the door open with a loud bang just as Linden shot up with a startled look on her face, and there she was, in her loose-fitting tunic and short brown breeches. There was a moment of silence before Linden recognized the figure in her doorway from the light coming from the torches outside her room. "Rob?" she mumbled. "What are you doing-_oof_-" Before she could even finish her sentence, Rob had rushed forward, lifted her torso and had pulled her into a very big hug.

"You're okay…_you're fine_…" he sounded as if he were trying to convince himself of her well-being rather than just state it.

Linden had not yet responded to the embrace as she was still a bit startled by the action, but slowly she hugged him back and whispered, "I am, I'm fine…" The two stayed like that for a while before Linden pulled back, a worried look on her face. "What's this about?"

Rob looked at her before pulling her in for another hug, this time tighter and with a determination not to let go. Linden once again returned the embrace, but with an uncertainty about her; about a minute of silence, it was getting very hard to breathe, so ever so gently, Linden untangled her arms and cupped Rob's face in her hands. "You can tell me…"

Rob let go of her and sat down on the bed next to her with his head dropped into hi hands. Sighing, he began to mumble, "When The Empress told you at Sanctuary of my musical ability, of my…willingness to take the cup, what did you think of me?"

Linden moved her feet out from under her and shuffled to sit next to Rob at the edge of the bed, taking a moment before answering. "I won't lie to you; it was a little disturbing, and that combined with the false knowledge of you betraying The Oak, betraying me…it put me off."

Rob considered her answer for a few moments before carefully phrasing his next question, "Do you think that carry the essence of The Empress inside of me?"

Linden's brow furrowed, "Jasmine is dead-"

"Yes, but do I carry _The Empress_ inside of me?" At Linden's confused expression, he carefully went on, "Jasmine's intentions were at some point, a long time ago, noble, but then she _became_ The Empress who was just power hungry and blood lustful. Do I carry her inside of me; _am I her_?" His face had become a frightened and pale mask and his eyes were boring into hers for comfort. "Am I willing to betray…to _hurt_? What if I am more like The Empress than I thought? _Am I willing…?_"

Linden's worry had grown and she had stopped Rob from any more self-accusing questions by placing her hands on his shoulders, firm but gentle. "Listen to me: there is nothing bad and concerning about you. Any bad deeds you have committed, they were not your own; Jasmine's magic was too powerful to deny obligation, and with her possessing your true name, there was precious little you could have done."

"Yes, but-"

"No 'Buts…'. You are a good person, Rob, and I agree, you are willing: you are willing to protect your friends and allies, you're willing to fight with 'The Forsaken', and" her mouth curled a little, "you are willing to accept the friendship from some girl you met last year, hopelessly asking for magic." The fierceness in her usually calm and soft voice was proving to be unignorable, but Rob still felt uncertain. Without warning, he once again threw himself at her and hugged her abdomen so fiercely that she let out an odd gurgling sound, but she hugged him back.

A few moments later, Linden had lowered her head back onto her pillow and was running her fingers through Rob's russet hair while she chose to ignore the slight wetness seeping through her tunic and dampening her stomach. Rob's arms tightened around her waist and his head pushed further into her lungs, the sound of her breathing making him comfortable and light as a feather. "It's okay, be still…be calm…I will watch you…I am here…sleep…"

And how he did.


End file.
